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タイ在住11年目、妻はタイ人、娘が2人、養女が2人

words in this article,
confide 秘密を打ち明ける

February 22, 2015(Mainichi Japan)
Kaleidoscope of the heart: Young people should reach out to adults more
香山リカのココロの万華鏡:若者よ気軽に相談を　／東京

The season of university entrance examinations is now upon us.
　大学入試のシーズンがやって来た。

Since I am based at a university, I sometimes work as a test monitor who oversees students while they take their exams.
私は大学に所属しているので入試の監督をすることがある。

Since this is also the season when people catch colds, many test-taking students can be seen wearing masks -- while others cough, and generally appear to be feeling unwell.
カゼの多いこの季節、マスクをしている受験生も目立つ。咳（せき）をするなど調子が悪そうな人もいる。

It is written in the test monitor manual that "students who do not feel well, or who need to use the toilet, should raise their hand in order to let the monitor know." This instruction is read out to students prior to the beginning of the examination, as well as every hour after the test has begun.
監督のマニュアルには「体調不良、トイレなどの場合は手をあげて知らせてください」とあり、開始前に毎時間、読み上げる。

As monitors, we must then pay attention to see whether any of the students attempt to get our attention by raising their hand.
　試験時間中、監督は誰か手をあげないか、と注意を払う。

Even if students appear to be glancing our way, however, it is not up to the monitors to approach them.
とはいっても、こちらをチラチラ見ている受験生がいても、「何かご用ですか」と声をかけるわけにはいかない。

Rather, we simply wait for the students to raise their hand.
あくまで彼らが手をあげるのを待つだけだ。

During one particular examination, there was one student who appeared not to be feeling well -- but who did not raise their hand.
　ある科目のとき、いかにも体調が悪そうな受験生がいて、こちらも気にしていたのだがなかなか手をあげない。

Toward the end of the test session, the student finally raised their hand and said, "my stomach hurts" -- by which time their face had already turned very pale.
試験時間の終わり頃になってようやく「おなかが痛い」と申し出たときには、顔色も真っ青だった。

I found myself wishing that the student had said something earlier, instead of suffering all that time. From the student's perspective, however, speaking up must have been a very difficult thing to do.
「無理せずにもっと早く言ってくれればいいのに」と思ったが、受験生としてはとても言い出せないのだろう。

Later, while looking at an Internet discussion board among student test-takers, I saw numerous comments to the effect of, "I really had to go to the bathroom," and "I felt nauseous, but I couldn't just ask to leave the room for a while."
　そのあと受験生が集うネットの掲示板を見たら、「トイレとの戦いだった」「吐き気がしたけど“ちょっと外に出ていいですか”なんて言えなかった」といった書き込みがけっこうあった。

Why, I wondered, were these students unable to simply excuse themselves to use the toilet?
どうして「ちょっとトイレ」と手をあげてくれないのか。

There was no need for them to have endured such feelings in silence.
がまんなど必要ないのだ。

I found myself wanting to tell these students that there was no need for them to suffer -- and that they should not be afraid to speak up to the test monitor.
「受験生よ、あまり遠慮したりおそれたりせずに、試験監督になんでも申し出てほしい」と思った。

After all, we certainly would not get angry or penalize them in any way on their examination score.
私たちはそこで怒ったり点数を差し引いたりすることはない。

This matter is not restricted merely to that of university examinations, moreover.
　受験に限ったことではない。

In a more general sense, it seems that young people feel that if they share something with adults, they will not be understood -- or that they will simply be lectured at or otherwise placed in a disadvantaged position.
子どもや若者は「おとなに言ってもわかってもらえない」「逆に説教されたり自分が不利になったりするだけ」と思いがちなのではないだろうか。

As a result, they refrain from sharing their problems or worries with the adults who are close to them -- and instead keep their feelings bottled up inside them.
そして、困っていることや悩みができても、身近なおとなには言わずがまんしてしまう。

After becoming an adult myself, however, I can say with certainty that we are not bothered by the thought of young people depending upon us or sharing their feelings of distress with us.
　しかし、私もおとなになってよくわかった。おとなは、若い人が頼ってくれたり悩みを打ち明けてくれたりするのを、決してわずらわしいとは思っていない。

On the contrary, many adults are wondering how they can be of assistance in this regard -- and are waiting for the youth in their lives to open up to them.
それよりも「何か役に立ちたい」と思って、待っているおとなもたくさんいるのだ。

So, young people, how about it? Why not feel comfortable enough to confide in an adult?
もっと気軽に、まわりにいるおとなに気持ちを話してみてはどうだろう。

In some unfortunate cases, the first person whom you choose may not be completely understanding.
ただ、不幸にして最初に話したおとながよく理解してくれない、という場合もあるかもしれない。

In that case, however, rather than give up, it is better to look for someone else.
そのときはあきらめずに、次の人をさがしてほしい。

And it also goes without saying: If you need to go to the toilet or are not feeling well while taking your university entrance examinations, please do not be afraid to raise your hand to leave the room.
そしてもちろんこれから受験という人は、試験時間中のトイレや体調不良での一時退席をためらわず、気軽に手をあげてほしいと思う。

（精神科医）
(By Rika Kayama, psychiatrist)
毎日新聞　2015年02月17日　地方版