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タイ在住11年目、妻はタイ人、娘が2人、養女が2人

February 15, 2015(Mainichi Japan)
Kaleidoscope of the Heart: When the world goes to hell in a hand basket...
香山リカのココロの万華鏡:みなで支え合い心守ろう　／東京

Tragedy follows heartbreaking tragedy. After the apparent murders of two Japanese men at the hands of the Islamic State militant group, a primary school fifth-grader was slain in a residential area in Wakayama Prefecture.
　「イスラム国」の日本人人質事件に続き、和歌山県で小学５年の男子児童が殺害されるといういたましい事件が起きた。

One visitor to my practice asked, "What can be done to protect kids from being exposed to such shocking news?" This was followed quickly upon by the admission, "Actually, I'm pretty messed up about it, too."
診察室でも「子どもを衝撃的なニュースからどう守ったらよいのでしょう」と質問後、「私自身もかなりまいってます」と告白した人がいた。

Whether it's a local incident or some terrible world event, it's important for adults to tell the kids around them, "Don't worry, I'll protect you whatever happens."
　地域での事件、世界での大きな悪いできごとが起きたときには、おとなはまず「だいじょうぶ、必ず守ってあげるから」と伝えることが大切だ。

On top of that, it's best to maintain the family's daily routine. If a child says they're anxious or scared, give them every opportunity to talk about what's bothering them.
その上でなるべくいつも通りの生活を続けながら、子どもが不安や恐怖を口にしたら話をそらさず聞いてあげる。

Even if you have nothing concrete to say in return, a simple, "So that's what you've been thinking" and similarly soft and gently encouraging remarks will help the child gradually sort through their feelings.
とくに答えは出さなくても、「そう思ったんだね」とゆるやかに肯定しながら聞けば、子どもは次第に自分で気持ちを整理していくことができるものだ。

But then how are adults to reassure their kids while at the same time guarding the gates of their own hearts from terrible news and shocking images? 　では、そうするためおとなはどうやって自分の心を守ればよいのか。

First and foremost, everyone needs a "somebody" to give them a helping hand.
まず必要なのは、支えてくれる“誰か”の存在だ。

A spouse or partner makes the best "somebody", but friends, parents or siblings can also likely be counted on to lend an ear.
配偶者がベストだが、友人あるいは親やきょうだいという場合もあるだろう。

There are some people out there who would say they have no one they can count on like that.
　運悪く「誰も自分を支えてくれる人はいない」という人もいる。

If you're one of them, you could turn to a teacher, a counselor or another professional shoulder to lean on, and get their help and advice.
そのときは、学校の先生、カウンセラーなどの専門家にも話を聴いてもらい、アドバイスを受ける。

Above all, however, it's important not to try to bear the impossible.
そして何より、無理をしすぎないことが大切だ。

Some might say, "I can protect my child on my own," or, "I have to be happy and energetic in front of my kids." But that kind of load on just one pair of shoulders can lead you to a bad state.
「私ひとりで子どもを守る」「子どもの前では笑顔で元気にしなきゃ」と肩に力が入りすぎると心身に不調が出てしまう。

Remember to relax. "The world may be a pretty dangerous place, but for now I'm just going to sit back and watch my favorite TV series." Everyone needs a little time like this.
「世の中物騒なことばかりだけど、とにかくこの時間は好きなドラマを見ましょう」とリラックスできる時間を忘れない。

Don't spend all your time looking at things that make you anxious. Instead, get out and about and get some exercise with your kids. Sweat a little, and return home tired but happy.
あまり目の前の心配ごとにばかりとらわれず、子どもといっしょにからだを動かし、汗をかいて心地よい疲労感を味わうこともよいだろう。

Of course, relaxing or getting your body moving may only stave off your worries for a time.
　もちろん、運動やリラックスで一時的に不安から逃れても、

You may end your day wondering what horrific thing is going to happen next.
夜になるとあれこれ思い出し、「また恐ろしいできごとが起きるのでは」と心配になるかもしれない。

If that's the case, don't get yourself in a tizzy or blame yourself for lapsing back into anxiety. Rather, I think it's better to remind yourself that to worry about the world is natural.
そういうときはあまりあせらず、「不安になるのはあたりまえだ」と自分に言い聞かせてみてはどうだろう。

Some of the folks coming to my practice recently simply cannot conceal their agitation, and I tell them this: "This is a little bit embarrassing, but I'm the same. Watching the news can get depressing, right?"
　最近、診察室で動揺を隠せない人たちには、こんなことを伝えている。「お恥ずかしい話ですが、私もです。ニュースを見ていると気が滅入（めい）りますよね」。

It's usually taboo for a psychiatrist to reveal emotional vulnerability to her patients, but in this case they almost all give me a look of relief.
精神科医が心の弱さを見せるのはふだんはタブーだが、今回ばかりは多くの人はほっとした顔をしてくれる。

"Huh, Dr. Kayama's the same," their faces seem to say. Exactly so. Everyone worries about what will become of our society.
「なんだ、先生も同じなんですね」。そう、「この社会、どうなっちゃったの？」と不安なのはみな同じ。

The trick is to lend each other the support we all need, and live our daily lives without trying to do the impossible.
お互い支え合い、無理せずに日々を送りたい。

（精神科医）
(By Rika Kayama, psychiatrist)
毎日新聞　2015年02月10日　地方版